I received the call that fatal night
It changed my life forever
My beautiful daughter had taken her life
We’d spend no more time together.
My body went numb I couldn’t move
The devastation is hard to describe
As silence fell upon my soul
Something inside had died.
I sat there thinking about the past
And all the things we’d done
The times we’d argued laughed and cried
The endless hours of fun.
The way I’d held her in my arms
The scared and vulnerable child
And when she spoke for the very first time
That endearing loving smile.
The holidays abroad, the long-haul flights
The day she learned to swim
The torment and struggles with bullies at school
Her determination not to give in.
The times we’d played hide-and-seek
Her boyfriends that I didn’t like
The endless talks to change the world
The oppression the human rights.
The horrible divorce with me and her mum
The endless support she gave
All the times I heard her cry at night
The guilt I will take to my grave.
The birthday treats, the holiday surprise
The death of Grandma Jean
The cancer scare, the little white lies
All the places we’d never been.
The charity walks, the fairground rides
The strolls along Brighton Pier
The fish and chip suppers, the crazy golf
The sunburn, the home made beer.
The Five star hotel, the day out at Harrods
The Bed and Breakfast with the broken shower
The Christmas tree too big for the room
The trip to Blackpool tower.
The Sunday lunch, the afternoon tea
The Vicar and his Japanese cats
The nervous breakdown, the stolen key
The circus and the garden rats.
The jelly and ice cream, the bouncy castle
The Rolex and the tandem bike
The cinema trips, the replacement hips
The fight with cousin Mike.
The broken bracelet, the size Ten feet
The poem you wrote for Billy
The numerous pets, the Grand National bets
Taking care of your Aunt Lily.
The Live Aid donation, the Royal Invitation
The heckles at Peter’s audition
Sally Mede’s wedding with drunken Kevin
His memorable Elvis rendition.
All the plans you made that never came to light
All the rows about who knows what
All the drama and stress all that effort to impress
All the times when we both lost the plot.
All the drugs and booze, all the love that was abused
All the stealing and the shameless crimes
All the heartless attacks, the traumatic flashbacks
The desperation and the wasted times.
All the anger and blame, all the torment and shame
All the worry and the sleepless nights
All the meaningless causes all the fake compassion
All the lies and the endless fights.
All the lows and sadness the continuous madness
The confusion and the solitary dance
All the broken promises, the hurt, the betray
Looking back we never stood a chance.
All the scheming and lies, all the stealing all the cries
All the suffering that we all had to go through
All the memories good and bad, all the battles that we had
In the end, I will always love you!
Every day I pray that we’ll meet again one day
In some other magical life or form
That’s all I have left of my beautiful daughter Beth
My Darling Angel cursed from the day she was born!
© Kelvin Rush