I don’t feel part of this world anymore
I want to go home where it’s safe and secure
I just don’t fit in with the rest of the crowd
I feel all alone floating around like a cloud.
Family and friends that were once so kind
Are all now strangers all the love has declined
The pretence was all part of the cunning mind
The smiling assassin taking aim shooting blind.
Breaking apart the recurring dream
Dead from the head down cold and obscene
Shaking in a panic not knowing where to turn
Violent and manic showing no concern.
Walking around in a constant daze
This way that way round and round the maze
Total confusion no one has a clue
All the self-delusion there’s nothing I can do.
Feeling sick again coughing up the blood
Heartbeat speeding up crawling through the mud
All alone no one home I cannot find my way
Help refused, self abused another meaningless day.
Waking up in the night wishing I was dead
I lay there paralysed I can’t get out of bed
Destitute traumatised I wish I could forget
Stop the mind suicide this never ending threat.
Into darkness pain and fear I’ve been there many times
I’ve longed to hide and disappear I’ve paid for all my crimes
I curse the day that I was born and dropped onto this earth
An act of cruelty left forlorn no meaning or self-worth!
I don’t feel part of this world anymore!
I want to go home, I can’t take anymore!
© Kelvin Rush